Craft Beer Can Not Be Artificially Made!

A few weeks ago Caitlin from Slumbrew had put out the word to several of us in the Craft beer world (mainly the owners of Craft Beer Cellar in Belmont Ma) because of a new product called OnTap.  What was to follow was a slew of comments from a lot of people in the craft beer community in Massachusetts.  The sentiment was that it is a joke but yet you can still buy it online.  But since I haven’t gotten a hold of any OnTap what  would be my second choice?  To make artificial Lambics and Fruit Beer of course!  How do you do this?  Mio!  Strawberry/Watermelon flavored Mio to be exact:

bud mio

Yes we did Mio in Bud Light.  After the 26 x 1 Relay sponsored by the Somerville Road Runners there was free beer. The free beer was Bud Light. That also being said The Pub (yes that is the unimaginative name of the bar) sponsored the after party.  In no way am I judging the Road Runners because they are getting taken care of by the bar.  I’m sure it is difficult to have a bar that is based on sales around craft beer to have 150+ sweaty runners just come in and take over.

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When the only craft beers on tap are Harpoon IPA and Sam Summer then you know you are not in for a treat.  So it is time to experiment:

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Note the consistency of the beer in the photo.  A good beer will have more color and body in it.  This is Budweiser and it doesn’t.

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Here we add flavoring to it to see what kind of results would come from this.  By the way if you want to know the ingredients in Mio then here you go: Water, Malic Acid, Propylene Glycol, Citric Acid, less than 2% of natural flavor, Sucralose, Acesulfame Potassium, Potassium Citrate, Red 40, Polysorbate 60, and Potassium Sorbate.  Note that Propalyne Glycol is also an ingredient used for OnTap as well.  It is an odorless substance that at one time was used to clean the Gulf of Mexico spill (dear God what did I put in my body). :

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Erin doesn’t drink beer but she decided to be a test subject for this experiment.

The concoction was passed around the table of runners and we all agreed as to what used to be flavorless was now sugary, sour, and over flavored.  Any taste that Bud Light had was overpowered by the Mio. There was even a notice that one of the chemical agents was one component off from being antifreeze.  This being said I tasted something that was much more tart than a Jolly Rancher.  It might just be as bad as it sounds. 

This being said the lessons from this experiment are as follows:

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Hard work, real ingredients, and sense of imagination will always be more desirable than chemicals and mass production with no imagination.

Tang didn’t stop the sale of Orange Juice.

Buzz Aldrin said, “Tang Sucked”!

Craft beer drinkers will say, “OnTap Sucks”!

OnTap Beer solution will not stop the sale of real craft beers!

 

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