Race Offenders: Drivers Who Yell At You!

So Friday night I went for a 3.5 mile run and while running through Medford I had encountered a guy who was screaming out of his car, “Homo, Homo, Homo!” Granted I don’t know if the guy was yelling at me or the three guys who passed me running shirtless. Three things that I noticed about the guy yelling at us:

  1. He was very unintelligible!
  2. This was the car he drove:
  3. I bet this was a photo of his gut:

This all being said I would much rather be a homosexual than be an ignorant bigot who couldn’t run a quarter of a mile if he tried.  Do every runner a favor and just drive by.  We will have a much less of a chance of noticing you and everything will be more peaceful!

Also yesterday after having this sign:

walking sign

I ran across the road.  What would you know but the same person would be back yelling, “Hey, Your going to get runned over!”  Same previous rules apply to this guy as the previous guy.  But the attentiveness to not pay attention to anyone but himself got him in trouble.  Let’s call it.  We’re just out there to run.  These people need to chill out. Agreed?


Race Offender: Luv Run


There is nothing wrong with love.  I think it is something that we are all looking for and if you have it then you are very fortunate.  However, when it is spelt wrong love becomes less desirable.  How undesirable on the short hand misspellings undesirability list:

3. You = U

2. Love = luv

1. OK = k

That brings us to the Luv Run.  This run is partnershiped with the Boston Triathlon which brings in a ton of corporate sponsorship to Boston.  Not completely a bad thing but why are you trying to throw out two events in one day? The Boston Triathlon seems to be something that would be more than fine on its own.  That being said not every aspect of this run is bad.  I’m sure if you are into running or craft beer you get pretty excited (in my case ecstatic) when you are looking at someones profile on dating sites such as OKcupid and Match and see that they like the same things. This is a good opportunity to You’ll be able to know if a runner is single, taken, or if they are into their own sex.  It isn’t a race so I can’t totally say it is a race offender but you are paying $35 to do it so….

Also, why are both of these events sponsored by Michelob Ultra? Wouldn’t in struggling times Inbev look to dissolve brands that no one talks about or drinks like Michelob Ultra?  Is it the ultimate last call for this brand to follow the success that Microbreweries like Dogfishhead, Harpoon, and Smuttynose have had with races to generate more buzz?

On third thought, does anyone even drink Michelob Ultra? Does regular Michelob even exist anymore?  What make Michelob Ultra so ultra?  Does it have a 12% ABV (I know it is the exact opposite but still)? Couldn’t the Luv Run asked Harpoon or Sam Adams to be the beer sponsor of the event?

Maybe when it comes to love it is something we desire need to have in our lives.  As for Luv, it is just an annoyance!

Michelob ULTRA in a supermarket.

Michelob ULTRA in a supermarket. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Race Offender: Tough Mudder

Tough Mudder logo

Tough Mudder logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our first offender of the group is the Tough Mudder. Race Offenders are races who offer more expensive price points without offering quality beer. Tough Mudder is the first race of a series of races that is charging way too much for recieving way too little in reward for accomplishments.   A description of the race from Tough Mudder website:

Tough Mudder® events are hardcore 10-12 mile obstacle courses. Our courses test everything you’ve got, requiring not just physical strength and stamina, but mental grit, determination, and camaraderie.

 Once you cross that finish line, you’ll know what it feels like to be a Mudder. Whether it’s your first Tough Mudder or your 10th, nothing beats the feeling of enjoying a cold Dos XX beer and adding to your orange headband collection.

So let’s get this straight,  You run 10-12 miles.  In the middle of those 10-12 miles you do such things as climb under barbwire, run and swim through ice-cold water, run through shocking electrical currents, jump over fire, and do a ton of burpees (burpees is what they forget to tell you that this race will be half full of). What do you get at the end of this as a reward?

XX lager beer. Picture taken by me.

XX lager beer. Picture taken by me. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

An Ice cold Mexican Coors Banquet Beer Dos Equis. So for the price of between $85 (OMG they announced this race is happening three years from now I better sign up now for the discount) to $180 (Sure I’m ready for a 10-12 mile obstacle course with no training.  Let’s do this!) That’s only for the Regular race.  If you are doing the Worlds Toughest Mudder then look to spend $350-$500!

So Tough Mudder wants you to continue the obstacle course of drinking their beer after 10-12 miles !  My advice is to stay thirsty and go to your local bar that serves craft beer!